Remember
by ColorPoetEntries
Summary: No one knows what happened the day Michael left for military school...except his sister that is. Since then she has fought her way through living hell, hopes high that her brother will return, but will he return in time to save her from her life?
1. Chapter 1

"_K.J….K.J…come on now….wake up!" _ A warm, firm hand closed around my own, arousing me from a light sleep. Even though my vision was blurred and groggy, I knew in an instant it was Michael. The new sunlight just barely penetrating through my window smoothed his features in its golden light, almost making him look unreal. _What a wonderful thing to wake up to,_ I thought to myself. Crouching down next to my bed, his blue eyes, that seemed so deep you could drown in their warm stare, sparkled contently, and made me wish I had woken up sooner just so I could've to looked into them for a second longer. "She lives!", he laughs to me, and flashes a large, white smile. I couldn't help but smile back. Of course I loved that he had been the first thing I saw that morning, but it didn't hide the fact that it was unusually early for him to be up. His behavior also tempted my curiosity, running his hand almost nervously through his softly spiked black hair, and not making eye contact with me for to long. Instead, he seemed focused intently on something right next to him on the floor. Peeking over his broad shoulders, my heart sunk when I discovered what it was; a large duffle bag, jammed packed with clothes.

_No…..no ,no, no….he can't be leaving…..not now! _ Confusion and panic morphed together into a tight lump in my dry throat. _Stay calm, _I reminded myself. _Try to act casual, as if you didn't hear mom and dad screaming and arguing about him having to leave last night.. _ "Why are you up so early?", I asked in what ended up being a shaky, child like voice._ Fail, K.J. Failure. _Slowly, Michael tore his eyes away from the bag, and fixed my own worried gaze with an almost….sympathetic look? It wasn't long until the threat of tears burned against my eyes, and I quickly tried to blink them away, frustrated for not being strong. Michael's steady hand, still locked onto mine, gave it a reassuring squeeze as he let out a long sigh as if it were truly painful for him to talk. "K.J., …I came to say goodbye." His voice was so clear and matter-of-factly that it sounded as though he had rehearsed it in front of a mirror. Even though his facial expression was an emotionless, blank look, his eyes leaked his heart's secrets. My hand trembled beneath his, infected with a storm of emotions rampaging through my veins. Trying to quickly mend the broken pieces of my sanity, it didn't even sound like me when I choked out in a thick voice, "Where are you going?" The ugly question caused Michael's mask to break from its stiffness only slightly, but made his eyes plead with me to understand why he must leave. Almost like he was trying to explain algebra to a three year old, he slowly answered, "Military school, K.J. They've offered me a scholarship, and I have the papers ready and signed. The bus should be here in a minute to pick me up."

_Military school…military school….military school….bus in a minute…. _It seemed impossible for my brain to string the sentences together.

My entire body was shaking now, vibrating really like a cell phone, trying to deny the coldhearted truth that was dragging me into a down spiral. Peering tearfully into his vibrant eyes again, I peeled back every layer trying to find out what he was thinking. I knew it was selfish of me to not want him to go, and stay here suffering in hopelessness. It was always Michael's dream to be in the military. After all, it was the best excuse to get away from dad when he turned eighteen. They never did see eye to eye…. All the nights he spent lying awake staring at his bedroom door, waiting for the slumped shadow of the drunken man to burst inside, eyes dark and mean, ready to let his steel fists fly at even the smallest sound of fear was enough to make anyone want to run as far away from this hell as possible. Finally abandoning his emotionless mask, Michael pulled me in to a tight hug, squeezing me so hard, it was as if he was afraid that I would fall through his fingers like sand. His carved muscles held me securely as he whispered in to my ear, "I promise everything is going to be ok. When the holidays come, I'll be able to come and see you. We'll have a snowball fight so big, Ms. Frizz will have to call the cops again." My shocked senses eased into a small smile, remembering when Ms. Frizz came running down her doorstep last year, waving a rolling pin around her huge frizzy red mass of hair screaming, " You damn, kids! Get away from my lawn!" We never knew her real name, but since we caught sight of that red monster eating her head, we felt Ms. Frizz was an appropriate name.

I yearned for some way to go back to that day, and spend an eternity there, never having to worry about facing this heartbreaking morning. Breathing deeply, I hugged him back, squeezing him with all my pain and clinging onto what might be the very last seconds I would ever spend with him." I love you, Michael.", I whispered into his ear, hoping that he understood I wanted it to mean so much more. Barely a second latter though, the sound of a bus' breaks screeching broke the delicate moment. Regrettably prying me from his arms and giving me one last sympathetic look, he then dashed out of the room, duffle bag and all, leaving me in solitary silence. Paralyzed by the reality of what had just happened, my brain seemed to have slowed down time to a frame-by-frame speed. ….. and it only took me a second to realize that I wasn't going to let the best thing in my life leave just yet. Flying out from under the covers as if I were on fire, I sprinted down the stairs two at a time, desperately trying to catch up to the quickly fading sight of my brother by the doorway. When I reached the bottom of the incessantly long staircase, the unmistakable click of a door closing left me full out racing to the threshold, and ripping open the oak door to see Michael walk onto a bus. It almost seemed he was in a hurry to leave. I couldn't bear the sight…my weak defense against the fiery tears burning against my eyes finally gave. Wanting him not to leave, to stay with wake and me me up every morning with his light voice, to push me on the tire swing out in the backyard, to race against him in our own makeshift obstacle courses….I ran. I ran for his life and mine.

Everything was gone except the quickly disappearing image of the yellow bus ahead of me, taking away the only thing I believed in. Tears as hot as the summer tar beneath me streamed down my face. "Michael!", I screamed through my curtain of pain. "Michael!", I screamed again as I rounded our street corner still trying to catch up to the accelerating speed of the bus. My small bare feet beat against the street, causing them to go numb and bleed in little cracks, but I could've cared less. When the edge of the neighborhood came into view though, a strong arm encircled around my waist, keeping me from going any farther. "Michael!", I screamed louder than ever begging for the bus to turn around. Fiercely, I struggled against my restraint to be free, only causing the arm to suffocate me tighter and squeeze all the air out of my pounding chest. "Michael!", I screamed louder than ever begging for the bus to turn around. "He's gone! He's not coming back!" yelled the gruff voice of my annoyed father. I faintly heard him though. My mind was only focused on chasing after that bus right down to the school. With heavy sobs racking my body, I finally fell limp over my father's forearm when the yellow bandit was just a tiny dot, far out of my reach. "It's alright, K.J.", my father said in an uncharacteristically soothing voice as I crumpled into a heap on the black street. I clawed at the tar, wanting to grip onto something incase I floated away._ He's gone, he's not coming back….not coming back…not coming back…_ Unable to hold it in any longer, I screamed like I was dying into the rocky street, because in a way, I was .My blood coursed like lava as I let out another shriek of agony that ripped at my heart. The only thing that kept me alive had left without any warning or any definite answer I would ever see him again. _If only I had been fast enough…..if I could've talked him out of leaving….._ A throbbing pain seeped into my forehead, making everything sway from side to side. The air was still thick with the angry energy from my screams, closing in above me, burying me alive in its evil._ Maybe if I just stayed here… he would come back._ My eyes blurred with hot tears of hate and injustice as I completely gave in to the tired feeling of insanity, allowing my burning eyes to rest in the cool shade of my eyelids. Vaguely do I remember my dad carrying me back home…..away…from the only part of me that was still together….and I still had hope for.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N First I would like to thank all the patient people who waited the past three months for me to upload a new chapter, and for leaving an overwhelming response. I can't tell you how much it meant to me for people to actually like this story =D Thank you soooooo much! This chapter isn't as good as I would like it to be, but it's a tester chapter to see if you guys would like to see it as a multi-chapter or if it was better as a one shot. Please tell me what you think =D Quick heads up, I'm changing the stories name to Love is Stronger, so if you don't get an update for the story Remember, keep your eyes open =D A couple quick shout outs to the people who inspired me to be the best writer I can be: Cirqueinese, for being the best friend I could ever have, and for pushing me to get a Fanfiction account. And a special thank you to Ellie Clemons, whose idea inspired parts of this chapter and many chapters ahead. This chapter is for you guys! =D**

**WARNING: Rated M for language, and semi-graphic/graphic mentions of abuse**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Burn Notice related**

**PLEASE REVIEW, AND BE HONEST! =D **

"Michael!" I yelled into the stillness of my room, shooting up from my pillows as if electrocuted. A frantic bird in my chest beat madly, as if it was still chasing after that bus eight years ago, and I could've sworn my feet burned from the heat of the road. My back arched instinctively, defensively waiting in fight or flight mode as I tore apart every corner of my room with vigilant eyes. The desperate yell for my brother had broken through the protective silence of the morning, leaving a gap where the poisonous gas of the past could seep in. Already, I could feel the forgotten demons rising up from the floors, ready to haunt me again. Pushing myself against the headboard for some kind of security from the world I use to believe in, I curled my knees to my chest and closed my eyes. ._ It was so close this time…so close I swear my fingertips could almost feel the rusty bumper. If I had speed up…. if I had reached out just a little farther…_ More than once I've flashed back to possibly one of the darkest days of my life, but _never _has it been so terrifyingly vivid .When my past started to dance across the darkness of my eyelids, I let my head fall into my slightly shaky hands. _This really isn't what I needed right now. It had been such a long night last night… _"Don't think about that," I told myself forcefully while whipping my head up from my hands. Bile burned threateningly deep in my stomach. As if my demanding tone could beat out the memory….. the _feel_…. of cold fingers tracing my sides…warm whispers in my ear….. My chest tightened as I shoved my dark secret away from my thoughts again, wishing that it would stay in the abyss of my mind forever. A chill raced up my spine sending goose bumps through my skin like the plague. For the second time that day, my body was once again numb, only now it was from the iciness of exhaustion. _ It isn't right.…I know it isn't.._ Suddenly something lightened the blackness of my eyelids to a reddish orange. The morning's light had somehow broken through my enemy's barrier and smoothed me in a pale glow, a hopeful glow. Blinking at the sudden realization of it being there, its brightness blinding the sleep in my eyes, I sighed in its warmth. Its sweet breath reached from the tip of my nose to the ice cubes of my fingers, whispering in a reassuring symbolic way, _ Stay strong…..it'll be ok._ Smirking at the feeling of lightness it seeped into me, I leaned back slowly, almost in slow motion, onto my bed waiting patiently for the star of the show to take its place center stage. Dreamily, I watched as its rays slowly rose further up my pale yellow bedroom walls, chasing away the memories of the past, and lifting the million-ton fog that was crushing down upon me. Soon, my entire room was filled with the sun's brightness, glowing happily. It's curious rays peered into every corner, and reflected off my mirror causing a splatter of rainbow polka dots to stain the ceiling above me. Staring at the colorfully painted ceiling, I felt almost…..peaceful…in the innocence of something so small, but yet so meaningful. Intoxicated by the beauty of it all, I shut my eyes and inhaled the serene sweetness, savoring how for just that moment…just this _one moment…_ I was safe.

**BEEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!**

The alarm clock on the bedside table next to me exploded into a mad frenzy, ripping open my eyelids, and vanquishing the memorable moment. Swearing under my breath, I threw my nearby pillow at the alarm clock in annoyance, causing it to crash to the floor, ending it's wakeup call. _Yay…time to go to work… damn it..._ I untangled myself from the venus fly trap my sheets were, and sent another venomous stare in the direction of my alarm clock. _So much for being at peace._ My alarm wasn't even one of those awesome ihomes that wake you to your favorite music, it was one of those century old bell ringers that sound like you're in the middle of a boxing ring every…single….morning. Groaning in exhaustion, I nearly fell to the floor when my reluctant legs wobbled dangerously beneath me. I leaned against my dresser for support, and slowly shuffled across the aging carpet to the hard wooden door that enclosed me in my tiny prison. Hand resting on the door knob, I gave another yearning look towards my bed wanting nothing more than to snuggle under the warm covers, shielding me from the harsh day it was sure to be. Sighing, I opened the door, wincing when it let out a piercing squeak, and tiptoed out of the safeness of my cell to the bathroom across the hall.

In the steaminess of the bathroom, I couldn't shake that cold feeling that'd been tickling my spine since I woke up. I had turned the knob for hot water all the way up in the shower, but still it hung there like an icy shadow. _That's never happened when you've flashbacked before. Then again, this is the most realistic it's ever been. I could even smell the putrid scent of the tar. _Turning off the water, I breathed in the mist surrounding me, inhaling the freshness of vanilla soap and shampoo. The darkness that had clung to me when I woke up this morning had been washed away, and the only stain it left was in my memory. I opened the shower curtain, dried off, and reached for my work uniform hanging, freshly steamed, on the towel rack. _I hate being a waitress. Black dress pants and a blue dress shirt…..creative. Though the blue does remind me of something…. _I felt a twang of loneliness as Michael's face swam to the forefront of my mind, blue eyes crisp in thought. It's been less than easy since he left, and you can only imagine how dad took it when he found out his favorite punching bag had taken a first class ticket out of his little world. I swear since that day, his steel gray eyes have grown colder, age lines in his face have run deeper, and his iron fist grip on this family…..on me… has grown tighter. Still, a bruise only lasts a few days, but the gaping hole in my life my older brother left behind remained for months. Months of watching old war movies by myself, pushing myself on the tire swing in the backyard, and staring sadly at the clever obstacle course we had built together days before he left. Eventually dad forced me to take it down, but if I had it my way, it would still be there, eight years later as a reminder of a far away world…a better world…that I used to live in. My best friend had left, and he wasn't coming back. Dragging a comb through my sandy blonde hair, I pushed back those bitter thoughts, gave a warm smile to the freshly showered me in the mirror, and swung open the bathroom door…. running into my mom standing out in the hallway. Stumbling back, I fell hard onto the tile bathroom floor, banging my head against the dark cherry wood cabinet. Unsympathetic to my crash, mom yelled in exasperation, "Jesus Christ, it's about time you got out! You wanna pay for the water bill this month? Cut the shower shorter!" Rubbing my head where it had greeted the cabinet, I let the stars popping in front of my eyes clear before I looked up to see her standing in the doorway. Her slender frame was clothed in blue jeans and a gray t-shirt, her short blonde hair framing an annoyed expression that was playing across her face, and probably her third cigarette of the day was poised expertly in her hand. Sticking the cigarette between her two lips painted with ruby red lipstick, she yanked me back on my feet by my collar.

"I-I was just- sorry!" I stuttered out as she shoved me back into the hallway. "Aren't you suppose to be at work?" she snapped at me, eyes blazing.Don't let her delicate name, Maddie, fool you. She can be feisty as hell. "Y- yes ma'am, I was just on my way." I answered, holding my hands out in front of me in defense. Sensing me just standing there was making her more annoyed by the second, I quickly strolled down the hallway. I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my head, longing to pull me back and show me just how annoyed she was. _They've been fighting again,_ I thought as I whipped around the corner and headed down the beaten carpeted stairs. _She usually isn't so mean._ Reaching the doorway, I stuffed my feet into shoes, and had just opened the door when a hand reached up and slammed it closed.

Letting out a startled shout, I whipped around to see who my invader of personal space was…..big mistake. The steely cold eyes were boring into mine again, and I could smell his sickening mixed scent of cigarette smoke and cologne. "Well, darling….. I know you weren't going off to work without saying goodbye.. were you?" my father leered to me in a nerve wracking calm voice, stroking the stray hairs off my pale face. _Oh god no….please no…._ Desperately I searched around for the quickest escape from him, but his muscular arms were planted on either side of me, locking me into place, and his face was so close I could only turn my head to the side and shiver as his hot breath fogged on my neck. " N- no." I whispered, shaking from fear. He came closer, his lips barely grazing my neck as he came up to my ear, "Good, because after all the fun we were having last night…. I'd be hurt if you didn't." He let a small laugh follow his whispered threat. He was drowning me…He was everywhere, and nowhere at once….. all his weight crushing down on me against the door…..I was dizzy with him just being there in front of me. "P-please…..I'm late ..I have to go…." I begged softly as tears burned against my eyes. This man terrified me, the pain…..the memories….the hatred…it was all too much. "Aww, shhh….it's ok" he cooed to me quietly while he wiped away a stray tear with his rough hands. The sandpaper spiders traveled down from my eyes, cupping my chin so I was forced to look at the man I hated more than anything. A man who had sent away the best thing in my life. The whiskers of his unshaven cheek scratched me as he kissed my forehead in a lovingly matter, only making my stomach twist into an undoable knot. As he pulled away, he rubbed his lips together, as if savoring the taste of my skin on his mouth. "Mmm…not bad," he murmured. Finally, after what felt like hours he dropped his arms to his sides, and with a wink of his eye, the monster walked away, unaware of the terror he just surged into me.

It felt like running through sand, but as soon as his back was turned, I ripped open the door and charged towards the street, stopping when I reached my car. Tears stained my face, and acid bubbled deep inside me as I unlocked the door and dropped into the driver's seat. I could barely put the keys in the ignition and pull out of the driveway because my arms were shaking so badly. Patches of sunlight poked through the branches of trees and splattered across the hood of my car as I sped down the road, completely lost in thought. _Deep breathes….deep breaths…it's over…he's gone._ My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel, full of disgust.Eventually the fearful bubbling acid simmered down, and was replaced with the empty cold feeling of hate. _"Talk to someone if you're being abused, we can help you!", posters and volunteers preach to you at school and on the streets. Bullshit. How open can I be to an officer knowing the consequence if the monster found out I was telling them every fucked up thing he did to me? Could I tell them how he sneaks into my room in the middle of the night, full of lust, and straddles me beneath his legs, saying how beautiful I am? How I try to pretend I'm asleep so he'll retreat, and try to scream for help but can't breathe because of the horror of it all. The feeling of utter helplessness overcoming me as anguished tears slide down my face almost as fast as his hands slide down.._ I slammed on the brakes as a stale green light turned red, followed by the various honks from the cars behind me. That's the one thing I hate about Miami….everyone's always so pissed off. Releasing an annoyed sigh, I popped on my blinker and turned right into the parking lot of the restaurant I work at, _The Fringe. _It's not to bad. Most of the seats outside have a beautiful view of the coastline, and are just close enough to catch a little bit of the draft coming of the water. The breeze I can understand, but why would someone want to watch some fat dude try to soak up some rays on the beach, especially when eating? Looking at the dashboard clock, it blinks back at me 8:25am. _Just on time._ After parking in a front spot, I double-check my appearance in the mirror making sure every hair is in place, step out and lock the door behind me, still shaky from this morning's moment of hateful ranting. _Remember, sincere service with a smile,_ I thought as I swung open the front door. _Shove the secret down deeper, and hide behind a smile until you can get away._

**A/N Yeah, not really as good a chapter as I wanted it to be :p This is the first time I've ever written something as dark as this, please tell me what you think! Also, I'm completely open for ideas and (constructive) criticism. Especially spelling and grammar corrections, which drive me crazy when I read fanfics, are totally welcome =D PLEASE REVIEW!**


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